Points Leagues: The Homogenous Fantasy
I’m sure you’re sitting there thinking that you do not have these types of fantasies. Not me, you say. I have no desires such as Socrates, Plato and the scholars of the church. Well, my fellow...
View Article10 CC’s Of Defatstrainol In Sabathia’s Knee, Stat!
CC Sabathia is out until at least July. ESPN said, "The Yankees clearly want to save their ace for a late-season run, so will exercise caution, making sure to not rush a return." Seriously, is ESPN...
View ArticleRed Sox Call Dr. Drew To Rehab Lineup
Four teams were showing interest in Stephen Drew. No official word on which four teams, but I'm guessing the Yankees, Tigers, Red Sox and whoever didn't want the Yankees, Tigers or Red Sox to get him....
View ArticleV-Neck Shirt Good, Yu-Neck Stiff Bad
For the 2nd time in two months, Yu Darvish has woken with a stiffy. A stiff neck, that is. Perhaps he should swallow the Viagra pill rather than letting it dissolve in his mouth before bedtime. On the...
View ArticleThe Royal Hosmer Bombs
Hold onto your Taco Bell-made Doritos hat because yesterday Eric Hosmer hit a homer. Sung like J.J. Fad, "The S is for super, the Homer is for about freakin' time!" More of an 80's rock kid? Hosmer's...
View ArticleTexas Chisox Massacre
You know when Shin-Soo Choo (2-for-4, 2 runs and his 10th homer) is hitting homers there's a Dong Party going on. Dong Party is also my lead single off my album, "Who Let In All These Guys?" The CD...
View ArticleThe Hutch Is On
When I was growing up, we had a hutch. For the life of me, I couldn't remember what piece of furniture it was that my grandparents used to call a hutch. So, like a child of the naughts, I Googled it....
View ArticleCarGo + HanRam = CantGo
Here's a scenario for you: Hanley Ramirez and Carlos Gonzalez get onto a plane. Knowing their inability to stay healthy, you A) Get off the plane. B) Purposely get yourself thrown off the plane by...
View ArticleVol. 3…Life And Times of C. Carter
Uh-oh, I feel a rhyme coming on. Chris Carter's schmotato was born on August 4th wearing the Astros hat, 40 ounces he doesn't pour forth cause that forty-oh is his bat. If you can't respect that your...
View ArticleMarte Party
When you get a little cumin, coriander, curry, power and speed in the same dish, you got a Marte party! Whatever happened to that Next Food Network Star? She disappear with every other one, except Guy...
View ArticleA Benoit Out Of Hand Isn’t Worth A Quackenbush
Amish text states vociferously that a Quackenbush should not render thou's biblical nature moot. Stating, "Eroticism is the devil's electricity, and our brains should not be hardwired to flip any...
View ArticleDraftKings – Moneyball in the Fall
The commenters can already get going with the harassment. It’s 4 days until Summer ends, but as a sports fan, we all know that once the NFL season begins the Summer is over. Pshh! Details… We’ve...
View ArticleI Gotta Steve Something Pearce
Here's an example from your own life. You walked into a bar and negged the first girl you saw. Told her she had nice hair, then immediately asked her how often she dyes it. Never worked before. This...
View ArticleTop 20 Shortstops for 2015 Fantasy Baseball
I've already gone over the top 20 catchers for 2015 fantasy baseball, the top 20 1st basemen for 2015 fantasy baseball and the top 20 2nd basemen for 2015 fantasy baseball. Last year, I thought the top...
View ArticleThe “It’s Only Dandruff In My Nose” Excuse Finally Fails
I'm not a total ass. Partial? Sure! I have no problem with that. With that said (here comes the ass part!), I have no sympathy for Josh Hamilton. Everywhere you look you hear about how heartbreaking,...
View ArticleDeep Impact: Rock the Vogt
By now, most of you have drafted your fantasy baseball teams, and while there may be a few stragglers, the majority of you will be turning to Razzball for in-season info, not draft info. You can no...
View ArticleLatos Shows Braves Who’s The Door Mat
Last night, Mat Latos looked like he was headed for the Disgraceful List. He didn't fool anyone. I didn't say he didn't fool any hitters because he was facing the Braves, they don't have any hitters...
View ArticleBear or Bull: Super-Starlin?
If you take a look at the overall landscape of major league baseball, several things are likely to become apparent fairly quickly. The Padres are pulling out all of the stops in the hopes of contending...
View ArticleDraftKings: On The Grind
I’ve heard many a person say something along the lines of “Daily fantasy baseball is such a crap shoot, it’s such a small sample, there’s no way you can win”. To these negative Nellys I say, “must be...
View ArticleBryce Strikes Thrice
"As Bryce Harper passed home plate after his 2nd home run of the three he hit yesterday, Ian Desmond lifted Harper's helmet and with a flick of the head, Harper's hair fell back in place. If you get a...
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