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Sex, Lies, And Baseball: Bryce Harper Is Adam Dunn With Superior Hair
Late last week as I was journeying through the Serengeti Plains with a local group of albino dwarves, I felt a tingling... a tingling deep within my gonads. My mouth started watering uncontrollably,...
View ArticleTop 100 Hitters, Week 10: Didi Deleterious
Falling: Didi Gregorius, SS, NYY: As a Yankee fan, nothing made me happier than to strap a rocket to Didi’s back and have him climb through these rankings. However, we all should’ve seen this decline...
View ArticlePoints Leagues: Yu Who
Coming into this season Yu Darvish owners had a lot to be excited about with his off season signing with the Chicago Cubs. With the Cubs potent offense averaging 5.07 runs per game in 2017 and...
View ArticleThis Jake Bauers Looks Like A Kiefer
Finally, the Rays took a cue from Fox, and started Jake Bauers' clock. Here's an updated 24: FBI agent, breathlessly, into a phone, "The President is in danger!" Assistant to the FBI director...
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ROTO Category Leaders Right Meow, Week 10.5
A few days late, but the numbers are current as of Tuesday June 5th, before the action begins. Hope everyone is having a great start to their week! Enjoy!
View ArticleAmbulance Chasers, Week 12: New Rule, Pitchers Can Only Pitch
This one just came across my desk in the Razzball news room. Apparently Walker Buehler suffered this injury (rib microfracture) three starts ago (!) but he’s a hockey player who fought his way through...
View ArticleTop 100 Hitters, Week 12: Get Muncy-ed In The Middle Of Nowhere
Slight format change going forward with this column -- I’m going to be leaving short term DL candidates near where they were ranked previously. It was become too hard to remember who and when players...
View ArticleTop 100 Hitters, Week 13: Aguilar Walking on Water
Not a lot of us saw this major league breakout coming from Jesus Aguilar. We were all expecting an awkward OF & 1B battle in Milwaukee between Eric Thames and Ryan Braun. Then here comes Jesus...
View ArticleZach G Stardusts The D-Backs Like That Cat From Japan
Yesterday, Zack Greinke went 2-for-3, 1 run, 1 RBI and his 2nd steal, hitting .300--Oops, sorry! The only pitcher whose hitting stats matter are Shohei Ohtani, because he can't pitch anymore. That...
View ArticleTop 100 Hitters, Week 15: Superstar Shake-Up!
Last week there was an unfortunate hiatus from the Top 100 Hitters column as I was deep in the woods of Central New Jersey for my annual camping trip. Does Central Jersey exist? I was there -- so I...
View ArticleTop 100 Hitters, Week 16: Queer Eye for the Baseball Guy
This lede is for Eric Hosmer’s (1B, #94) eyes only. Everyone else can scroll down to the rankings and comment on how Scooter Gennett deserves to be #1 overall. Is it just Eric and I now? Okay good....
View ArticleTop 100 Hitters, Week 16.5: Now and Then
I started writing this week’s top 100 hitters article the same way I do every week: on the balcony of my penthouse apartment inside One57 skyscraper on West 57th street overlooking Central Park....
View ArticleTop 100 Hitters, Week 17: Monstars Have Stolen Hitters’ Power in July
When I left Jose Martinez off my Top 100 Hitter rankings earlier in the season people were calling for Grey to take my head. Well maybe this is why I was hesitant: Martinez hasn’t homered since June...
View ArticleTop 100 Hitters, Week 18: Holy Carp!
Matt Carpenter (up 36 spots): In his first 186 ABs: 23 runs, 7 HR, 21 RBI, .215 AVG. In his next 183 ABs: 47 runs, 19 HRs, 36 RBI, .339 AVG. End paragraph. There's a few guys every week who I'm...
View ArticleTop 100 Hitters, Week 19: The Play at Home Game!
I’m going to do something a little different this week. I wanted to do a fun little experiment to show how tricky it can be to rank 100 hitters every week. It can be tough to decide which statistic is...
View ArticleTop 100 Hitters, Week 20: I Take My Own Revenge on Acuna
I’m playing the guy who has Ronald Acuna this week so I went by his house and slashed his tires. That oughta show him! His last arbitrary 18 games: 18 runs, 10 HRs, 19 RBI, 4 SBs, .377 AVG. That’s a...
View ArticleDraft: Going Deep
Welcome back to another round of DFS on Draft.com to start your week off right. As the calendar turns to September and the regular season begins to wane, the focus of many a fantasy player shifts to...
View ArticleTop 20 Shortstops, 2018 Fantasy Baseball, A Recap
Here’s what I said two years ago, "We’re gonna find out if the top 20 shortstops are as Ken Bonerific as the top 20 2nd basemen. Hint: they are. Damn, I gotta work on building suspense. That hint...
View Article2019 #2EarlyMocks Rounds 15 – 23
I lied to you loyal Razzball readers. In part 1 of this 2019 fantasy baseball mock draft hosted by Justin Mason of Friends with Fantasy Benefits, I told you this was going to be a four-part series....
View ArticleFanDuel: German Gets a Marquee(z) Matchup
Strasvutsia! Baseball is back baby! To say I'm elated is an extreme understatement. I had the pleasure of going to Phillies/Braves opening day and was grinning ear-to-ear the entire time. Police...
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