Daniel Vogelbach (1-for-2, 2 runs and his 5th homer, and fifth in his last five games, hitting .471) is man-hot. Daniel Vogelbach is the Jelly Donut of Swat. Daniel Vogelbach looks like a beer keg with legs. John Kruk and Matt Stairs had a baby, and that baby's name is Daniel Vogelbach. Daniel Vogelbach is one part mayonnaise, one part ketchup, and his secret sauce is Sexy, and he puts it on everything. "Why, Fantasy Master Lothario (don't abbreviate it), did Daniel Vogelbach spend 12 years in the minors if he's spurting Sexy sauce on everything?" You ask, while batting your eyelashes. You have to subtract one of those years, young buck, because Daniel Vogelbach was once confused for a refrigerator and spent a summer in a Hyannis Port Sears showroom. Mansplainingly, subtract, like, ten of those years because he couldn't play defense and he was in the NL. He's done nothing but hit rockets like he's groupies of Rocket from Guardians of the Galaxy. Last year, he hit 20 HRs and .290 in Triple-A with a 15.6% strikeout rate. He could be an actual breakout and I would grab him, even if his playing time might become cramped with the return of Kyle Seager or he might just be platooned. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
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